Rector of the International Institute of Social Ecology Vyacheslav Gubanov about critical ages: how to prepare for them and how to live through them.
“If I knew where to fall, I’d spread some straw...”, “an expensive egg for Christ’s day...”. Or here’s another: “A spoon is dear to dinner.” All these and many other such different sayings and proverbs are essentially about the same thing: everything must be done on time. Popular wisdom, as always, is right! In our lives, everything is so scheduled and programmed that there is simply no extra time. Man is a fruit of nature, ripening extremely slowly. From the point of view of the science that our institute deals with, until the age of 49, he remains in the state of a “spiritual embryo”, which all this time prepares itself for adult life and passes and passes exams... For each of the 49 years, he is given a “flight task” , which determines what he needs to do in the near future. And at the end of this period there is a strict check: whether it was completed or not. Such a school of life with 49 classes...
49 - this is seven times seven years, separating the crisis (critical) ages. From them, in fact, the ladder of life is formed: from step to step, forward - and upward, to the top!
Alas, this does not work out for everyone. Sorry for such an example - but if we take a walk through the cemetery and look at the age of those who lie there, we will see that, basically, these are “bad students” who incorrectly solved the proposed problem, failed the “exam” - and therefore were expelled from the school of life . If we know exactly what we should do and how we should do it, and we do it, we are “promoted to the next class.” So it turns out that the advice to do everything on time is an urgent necessity! As they say, forewarned is forearmed. If you want to be an excellent student in life, do your homework regularly! Solve your problems and move on with your life. But we need to decide honestly. The student logic “there are exams twice a year, but let the dean’s office worry about that” will not work in our case. U real life other rules: you can’t buy a diploma and you can’t pass a unified exam. Here everyone has their own path, and everyone, as they say in the East, touches the stones of their path.
If you know what is coming, and from this position you evaluate everything that happens to you, then you do not suffer and worry in vain at turning points, maintaining philosophical calm and the ability to enjoy life.
Attention to the table!
I developed this 7 by 7 matrix in 2001 and was very proud to see in practice that it worked. Until I realized, having visited the library of a Buddhist monastery in India, that everything was invented long before me. However, I nevertheless approached compiling this table on my own and even improved it somewhat compared to the ancient one. So, according to my data, after 49 years the table changes in dimension and becomes voluminous - since additional new laws begin to govern a person’s life.
As for the basic “7x7” matrix, it is generated by the fundamental phenomenon that in the human body there are seven main chakras - energy functional centers. The leading chakra of the year (vertical columns) determines the task for the current year. The horizontal line is the leading chakra for the next seven years. Their intersection at a certain age poses a main task for a person, which must be solved at the appropriate level.
So, during the first year of life a person develops his immune system; during the second - sexual; in the third year he learns to independently ensure his own survival: he eats himself, cleans up after himself...
Up to a year, the child is completely dependent on his mother and experiences his first crisis age precisely in the year when he is weaned from his mother’s breast. Then he leaves the protection of his mother, becomes very vulnerable and especially needs careful attitude to him of all those who surround him. At three years of age, the spirit of the growing person is connected to the body, and we suddenly notice a developing personality. The father begins to pay attention to his own child, who previously perceived him only as a kind of sexual competitor, who suddenly switched all the powers and emotions of his beloved wife to himself. Dad suddenly realizes that very close to him he is growing up very interesting creation with your own ideas about life!
TO 5 years the spirit grows stronger, and its owner begins to think - and often in a very original way! At 7 years old little man a sense of responsibility finally emerges. Right now he is ready to enter school: only by this time his brain acquires the biological ability to perceive learning. Child prodigies, as we know, do exist - but, alas, they usually do not live up to the brilliant hopes placed on them in their youth. I don’t remember a large number of famous politicians, scientists or diplomats who grew up from child prodigies. Why? Yes, because everything needs to be done on time. And the child, having fully lived his childhood, must grow up on time! There is no need to try to steal from him natural emotions, playtime and the experience of a carefree life, which are absolutely necessary for a person in adulthood. After all, it is on this foundation that he will build his full life!
IN 7 years a child from the “first floor” moves to the “second”: the period of puberty begins (see table), which will last up to 14 years. At the age of 9, the spirit of the opposite sex begins to have a strong influence on him! (It is possible that in his previous life he lived in a body of the opposite sex - otherwise, how could each of us have so much of the masculine and feminine principles mixed in?!)
In me, for example, women often feel a subtle nature that understands them. And this feminine spirit of my past life manifests itself through the current male body. If two spiritual principles, male and female, coexist in us on equal terms, only then will we obtain a balanced, harmonious and mature personality, possessing the happy ability to manifest those qualities that are needed in life. this moment: either fully masculine, or feminine...
So, in 9 year old age, the current gender of the individual is being confirmed. A person receives “hello” from the previous, deceased body in the form of the soul that he inherited. Many, even quite normal, children begin to experience a terrible fear of death at this time. Few people talk about it, but it often becomes the cause of childhood neuroses. The guys are embarrassed by this and try to independently look for answers to the questions that torment them, in various literature. By the way, this is where this irrepressible craving for “horror” films comes from: fear must somehow spill out, be neutralized!..
You can try to mitigate the crisis of 9 years of age by providing the person with timely and correct supplies. useful information about the world order, to introduce him in a language he understands to the laws of evolution. And explain that death in a specific image certainly means birth in another... This way you can free his emotions from negativity, calm him down - and life will become brighter. A person who understands the laws of the universe can no longer be so easily unbalanced or intimidated...
17 years- the time of demand to meet growing needs at any cost: give me money, super jeans, a super mobile phone!.. This is normal. Interest in earning money appears only a year later, at 18. It is at this age that we fall madly in love, sometimes even trying to start a family. In fact, it is a “terrible” age, because at this time the former life of our spirit again reminds itself of itself: now - in the form of the social unrealization of its former bearer. Throwing, ambitions, grievances... It’s good, after all, that “once in a lifetime it happens...”!
The next critical age is 21 years old, finishing the construction of the body frame from below to the waist. That's all - the third, bodily, chakra gained working momentum and began to breathe evenly and powerfully!
Attention to the “Iroquois”!
That's what we call this scheme. From birth to 21 years human life develops in such a way and presents such tough lessons that this time can well be characterized as follows: “beating determines consciousness”! Alas, a person under 21 years of age can talk as much as he wants about conscience, duty, decency: he will know these concepts, but will not be able to feel them. The period of spiritual self-knowledge begins at the age of 21 and continues until the age of 28. Biologically, this is expressed in the activation of the parietal zone of the brain. A person learns to think about his actions, analyze and evaluate them.
The first truly global crisis awaits us at the age of 28, when for the first time we are presented with a serious bill for the past years. Three months before or three months after your 28th birthday, a two-week stretch of truly unbearable life begins! Events unfold in your memory vividly, they hit you painfully, and you feel like your previous life was absolutely worthless. Before moving on to the next stage of life, this serious “cleansing” must be experienced very carefully, without twitching or getting nervous. The fact is that until the age of 28, we are all children, from the point of view of the state of our energy field. Maturity comes suddenly and harshly. Entering the 29th year of life, many become complete strangers to both their body and their already established familiar emotional shell... Someone cannot withstand this withdrawal - and then the so-called “Saturnian” death may even occur (28 years is the time one revolution of Saturn around the Sun).
28 - 35 years old- a time of heightened attention to the opinions of others. Any condemning word is taken very seriously - as they say, it hits back. Any praise inspires me. There is active socialization of the individual.
By the way, we usually experience social conflicts once every 5 years. This applies to all aspects of public life. Regardless of whether you are starting a family or your own company, in five years serious problems will definitely begin. These are growing pains. They are natural and will even benefit you if your endeavor has healthy potential. Then, after 2 years, the process reaches a new positive level. If there is no potential, then the peak of the crisis will be followed by two years of painful agony and inevitable fiasco.
So, when applying for a job, be sure to inquire about the age of the company and wait to enter into a relationship with a company that is 4.5 years old: you still need to see how it gets through its 5-year crisis.
Spiritual, creative and ideological processes also experience moments of crisis, but every 9 years.
IN 35 years the second period of life shocks begins, which are designed to strengthen the spirit: the beating again determines consciousness! By this age, a person must have time to fully define himself in society. The coming age is another, more mature step towards understanding oneself and achieving inner harmony. The bodily matrix is linked into a single whole with the spiritual matrix.
The age of 35 is difficult for people - it is better not to change jobs or start a new business at this time. 36 - it’s time to adjust your own worldview, to bring your spirit to a qualitatively new level of development. If this is not done, the coming 37 may become fatal - as they did for Pushkin, Yesenin, Mayakovsky... Having completed their primary mission on Earth, the great ones did not begin a new one - and their further stay here, in accordance with the laws of nature, became meaningless. ..
42 - 49 years old- a time of spiritual self-knowledge on a new, more mature level. A woman often suddenly, out of nowhere, has a convulsive desire to give birth! Maybe she just doesn't realize that she only feels the need to give birth to herself as new identity- in full accordance with the requirements of nature?! It is not recommended to literally give birth under any circumstances: since you are living through the age of spiritual self-knowledge, Small child now is a false step and vanity that lowers you to the biological level of development. And this is a step back, going against the evolutionary requirements of nature.
If by the age of 49 the process of self-knowledge by a person is not completed, the person becomes uninteresting to his own spirit: nature does not need “spiritual empty flowers.” There is a natural liquidation of the physical body... The rest are invited to even more actively improve the mature union of a full-fledged healthy body and an increasingly demanding spirit, which has been hard-earned and built over the years. It is necessary to develop as a person, build potential, and gain rewards in social and personal life. In this way the attack is prepared 56 years old: an age so responsible that for many it becomes the time of the second “Saturnian” crisis. Or - the second “Saturnian” death... For women, this time is characterized by the onset of menopause: you often want to give up on your own life, become a grandmother and isolate yourself from the world with diapers. But, on the contrary, you need to take care of yourself, your spirit and live, rejoicing in the fact that you finally passed this difficult exam under code number “56”!
The next crisis is 63 years old, of which several years have already been spent in retirement. Our pension provision for a person is designed for three years of his life, which, in principle, is correct: if a man of sixty is deprived of the opportunity for active social activity, he will not live longer. The longevity of academics is explained by the fact that they never retire, continuing their life in science. It's simple: they are interesting to society, and they are always interested in life! 7 years before the 70th birthday fly by unnoticed, and then they also make a discovery - riding on a white horse, as they say, into the next “reward period”! (See "Iroquois" above).
As for mere mortals, knowledge of critical ages helps them protect themselves from a lot of unpleasant surprises and problems that they should be able to explain without allowing them to turn into a snowball. Everything is cyclical in this world, everything takes us to a new, higher level. You just need to remember this and not have complexes every time about the natural ups and downs that are inevitable. We live according to inevitable laws: spiritual-creative, biological and social. The ability to obey them is the basis of a long, dynamic and creative life.
Rector of the “International Institute of Social Ecology”
V.V. Gubanov (and LADY-TIME magazine)
I'm worried. These people are always worried, worried about anything, fall into unreasonable panic, and most importantly, they gravitate towards planning. It’s best to plan your vacation six months or even a year in advance, start preparing for a date a week in advance, and leave the house an hour and a half before the appointed time, especially if it takes no more than fifteen minutes to get there. This behavior has its own reasons. The fact is that for an anxious person, any means are good to avoid a stressful situation, including condemnation if you are late. That is why it is much easier for people prone to stress to arrive early than to be even one minute late. Arriving earlier than the appointed time becomes a kind of safety mechanism.
I'm not confident in myself. Arriving early can also mean an extreme degree of self-doubt. So, for example, a person who has the bad habit of being late everywhere and always is sure that they will wait for him, because where he is expected, he is needed. Anyone who prefers to show up for a meeting twenty minutes before the appointed time subconsciously doubts his need, in other words, is panicky afraid of being late for a date and finding an empty space.
I don't know how to respect myself. Psychologists say that one of the reasons for early arrivals may be insufficient self-esteem. In other words: I am worthless, and coming early is an attempt to prove my worth to the world around me.
Who always arrives on time:
I'm a perfectionist. Punctuality is always appreciated. Employers prefer for a particular position those applicants who show up for interviews on the minute. However, punctuality, coupled with intolerance towards those who are late, indicates signs of another character trait - perfectionism. In scientific terms, perfectionism is an endless pursuit of perfection. The pedant strives to do everything perfectly correctly and on time. You must arrive at work exactly at 00 minutes, leave at 00, and not a minute later, but not a minute earlier. Rest assured, if you have a meeting scheduled, the pedant will appear exactly at the appointed hour. With enviable consistency, perfectionists are not late.
The danger of perfectionism is that in an attempt to achieve perfection, a person can become obsessed with an idea. Pathological perfectionism can cause a person himself a lot of problems in the form of feelings of constant dissatisfaction, anxiety, and irritability. But the main problem is the inability to achieve this or that goal. With an ordinary person, everything is simple - if we have not achieved it, then we will try tomorrow, or, in extreme cases, we will quit altogether. For a perfectionist, failure is a real tragedy, which he often cannot cope with on his own. Often a punctual person is defined as a neurotic - after all, if something does not go according to plan, the mood sharply deteriorates, a wave of anger rises inside, which is quite difficult to cope with, and the day seems to be unsuccessful.
Who is always late:
Remember, you probably have acquaintances, friends, relatives, and maybe all of them together, who never arrive anywhere on time. Swear? Useless. Beg? No prospects. Cry with anger? Effective, but no nerves will be enough. However, maybe it’s not worth wasting your nerves? It turns out that chronic tardiness has its own reasons, which lie in the character and psychology of a person.
I don't want to come. It’s funny, but it’s true, there are also those who are extremely punctual, say, if we are talking about going to the theater, to the cinema, especially when it comes to an important trip, but they always show up to the office for thirty minutes, if not forty minutes Later. This can be explained by the simple fact that the person simply does not want to come. He does not like the job, the position he holds, and simply does not like working where he works. This state of affairs forces the unfortunate person to extremely delay the terrible moment when the office door still has to be opened and entered there for the whole day. From a psychological point of view, by being late, the human psyche protects itself from negative emotions, so no matter how much you pull yourself together, hurry up and leave fifteen minutes earlier, the inevitable remains inevitable: you will be late because you don’t want to come.
I want to be needed. One of the common reasons for constant lateness, oddly enough, is the need for necessity. “They are waiting for me, which means I am needed.” Making yourself wait means making others nervous and worried. This desire is subconscious and does not at all mean that the person who is late wishes you harm and every time makes plans to make you nervous. Perhaps he lacks attention. Maybe we should try to compensate for this lack in other ways?
I want to be free. For many of us as children, our parents set a fairly high standard that we must meet. We grow up in an atmosphere of iron rules and rock-solid discipline, not allowing ourselves to relax for a minute. This inability to “let go of the situation” moves with us into adult life. True, if you always keep a tight rein on yourself, control and leave no room for error, you can go to the hospital with a nervous breakdown. For such people, exhausted by their upbringing, it is simply vital to find a kind of outlet for themselves, to break the rule in at least some area of life. Since it will not be possible to organize a “big revolution”, we are not used to it, then there is only one option left - to be late. This kind of freedom allows a person accustomed to discipline to feel free and independent from other people’s opinions and rules.
I do not want to wait. Yes, yes, there are those who cannot stand waiting until they have a panic attack or a nervous breakdown. That is why it is easier for a representative of this “type” to come last, rather than first. The languid wait for anything is more exhausting than a sprint to the meeting place under the angry calls of those waiting.
Ambivalence, frustration, rigidity - if you want to express your thoughts not at the level of a fifth grader, then you will have to understand the meaning of these words. Katya Shpachuk explains everything in an accessible and understandable way, and visual gifs help her with this.
1. Frustration
Almost everyone experienced a feeling of unfulfillment, encountered obstacles on the way to achieving goals, which became an unbearable burden and a reason for reluctance. So this is frustration. When everything is boring and nothing works.
But you shouldn’t take this condition with hostility. The main way overcome frustration - realize the moment, accept it, and be tolerant. A state of dissatisfaction and mental tension mobilize a person’s strength to deal with a new challenge.
2. Procrastination 
- So, starting tomorrow I’m going on a diet! No, better from Monday.
I'll finish it later when I'm in the mood. There's still time.
Ah..., I’ll write tomorrow. It's not going anywhere.
Sound familiar? This is procrastination, that is, putting things off until later.
A painful state when you need it and don’t want it.
Accompanied by tormenting oneself for not completing the assigned task. This is the main difference from laziness. Laziness is an indifferent state, procrastination is an emotional state. At the same time, a person finds excuses and activities that are much more interesting than doing specific work.
In fact, the process is normal and inherent to most people. But don't overuse it. The main way to avoid this is motivation and proper prioritization. This is where time management comes to the rescue.
3. Introspection 
In other words, introspection. A method by which a person examines his own psychological tendencies or processes. Descartes was the first to use introspection when studying his own mental nature.
Despite the popularity of the method in the 19th century, introspection is considered a subjective, idealistic, even unscientific form of psychology.
4. Behaviorism 
Behaviorism is a direction in psychology that is based not on consciousness, but on behavior. Human reaction to an external stimulus. Movements, facial expressions, gestures - in short, all external signs have become the subject of study by behaviorists.
The founder of the method, American John Watson, assumed that through careful observation, one could predict, change or shape appropriate behavior.
Many experiments have been conducted to study human behavior. But the most famous was the following.
In 1971, Philip Zimbardo conducted an unprecedented psychological experiment called the Stanford Prison Experiment. Absolutely healthy, mentally stable young people were placed in a suspended prison. The students were divided into two groups and assigned tasks: some had to play the role of guards, others prisoners. The student guards began to show sadistic tendencies, while the prisoners were morally depressed and resigned to their fate. After 6 days the experiment was stopped (instead of two weeks). During the course, it was proved that the situation influences a person’s behavior more than his internal characteristics.
5. Ambivalence 
Many psychological thriller writers are familiar with this concept. So, “ambivalence” is a dual attitude towards something. Moreover, this relationship is absolutely polar. For example, love and hatred, sympathy and antipathy, pleasure and displeasure that a person experiences simultaneously and in relation to something (someone) alone. The term was introduced by E. Bleuler, who considered ambivalence one of the signs of schizophrenia.
According to Freud, “ambivalence” takes on a slightly different meaning. This is the presence of opposing deep motivations, which are based on the attraction to life and death.
6. Insight 
Translated from English, “insight” is insight, the ability to gain insight, insight, suddenly finding a solution, etc.
There is a task, the task requires a solution, sometimes it is simple, sometimes complex, sometimes it is solved quickly, sometimes it takes time. Usually, in complex, labor-intensive, seemingly impossible tasks, insight comes. Something non-standard, unexpected, new. Along with insight, the previously established nature of action or thinking changes.
7. Rigidity 
In psychology, “rigidity” is understood as a person’s unwillingness to act not according to plan, fear of unforeseen circumstances. Also referred to as “rigidity” is the unwillingness to give up habits and attitudes, from the old, in favor of the new, etc.
A rigid person is a hostage to stereotypes, ideas that are not created independently, but taken from reliable sources.
They are specific, pedantic, and are irritated by uncertainty and carelessness. Rigid thinking is banal, cliched, uninteresting.
8. Conformism and non-conformism 
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to stop and think,” wrote Mark Twain. Conformity is a key concept in social psychology. Expressed as a change in behavior under the real or imagined influence of others.
Why is this happening? Because people are afraid when they are not like everyone else. This is a way out of your comfort zone. This is the fear of not being liked, of looking stupid, of being out of the crowd.
A conformist is a person who changes his opinion, beliefs, attitudes, in favor of the society in which he is located.
Nonconformist is the opposite concept to the previous one, that is, a person who defends an opinion that differs from the majority.
9. Catharsis 
From ancient Greek, the word “katharsis” means “purification,” most often from feelings of guilt. A process of long experience, excitement, which at the peak of development turns into liberation, something maximally positive. It is common for a person to worry for various reasons, from the thought of the iron not being turned off, etc. Here we can talk about everyday catharsis. There is a problem that reaches its peak, a person suffers, but he cannot suffer forever. The problem begins to go away, the anger goes away (for some), the moment of forgiveness or awareness comes.
10. Empathy 
Do you experience together with the person who tells you his story? Do you live with him? Do you emotionally support the person you are listening to? Then you are an empath.
Empathy – understanding people’s feelings, willingness to provide support.
This is when a person puts himself in the place of another, understands and lives his story, but, nevertheless, remaining with his reason. Empathy is a feeling and responsive process, somewhere emotional.
Ambivalence, frustration, rigidity - if you want to express your thoughts not at the level of a fifth grader, then you will have to understand the meaning of these words. Katya Shpachuk explains everything in an accessible and understandable way, and visual gifs help her with this.
1. Frustration
Almost everyone experienced a feeling of unfulfillment, encountered obstacles on the way to achieving goals, which became an unbearable burden and a reason for reluctance. So this is frustration. When everything is boring and nothing works.
But you shouldn’t take this condition with hostility. The main way to overcome frustration is to recognize the moment, accept it, and be tolerant of it. A state of dissatisfaction and mental tension mobilize a person’s strength to deal with a new challenge.
2. Procrastination
– So, starting tomorrow I’ll go on a diet! No, better from Monday.
“I’ll finish it later, when I’m in the mood.” There's still time.
- Ah..., I’ll write tomorrow. It's not going anywhere.
Sound familiar? This is procrastination, that is, putting things off until later.
A painful state when you need it and don’t want it.
Accompanied by tormenting oneself for not completing the assigned task. This is the main difference from laziness. Laziness is an indifferent state, procrastination is an emotional state. At the same time, a person finds excuses and activities that are much more interesting than doing specific work.
In fact, the process is normal and inherent to most people. But don't overuse it. The main way to avoid this is motivation and proper prioritization. This is where time management comes to the rescue.
3. Introspection
In other words, introspection. A method by which a person examines his own psychological tendencies or processes. Descartes was the first to use introspection when studying his own mental nature.
Despite the popularity of the method in the 19th century, introspection is considered a subjective, idealistic, even unscientific form of psychology.
4. Behaviorism
Behaviorism is a direction in psychology that is based not on consciousness, but on behavior. Human reaction to an external stimulus. Movements, facial expressions, gestures - in short, all external signs have become the subject of study by behaviorists.
The founder of the method, American John Watson, assumed that through careful observation, one could predict, change or shape appropriate behavior.
Many experiments have been conducted to study human behavior. But the most famous was the following.
In 1971, Philip Zimbardo conducted an unprecedented psychological experiment called the Stanford Prison Experiment. Absolutely healthy, mentally stable young people were placed in a suspended prison. The students were divided into two groups and assigned tasks: some had to play the role of guards, others prisoners. The student guards began to show sadistic tendencies, while the prisoners were morally depressed and resigned to their fate. After 6 days the experiment was stopped (instead of two weeks). During the course, it was proved that the situation influences a person’s behavior more than his internal characteristics.
5. Ambivalence
Many psychological thriller writers are familiar with this concept. So, “ambivalence” is a dual attitude towards something. Moreover, this relationship is absolutely polar. For example, love and hatred, sympathy and antipathy, pleasure and displeasure that a person experiences simultaneously and in relation to something (someone) alone. The term was introduced by E. Bleuler, who considered ambivalence one of the signs of schizophrenia.
According to Freud, “ambivalence” takes on a slightly different meaning. This is the presence of opposing deep motivations, which are based on the attraction to life and death.
6. Insight
Translated from English, “insight” is insight, the ability to gain insight, insight, suddenly finding a solution, etc.
There is a task, the task requires a solution, sometimes it is simple, sometimes complex, sometimes it is solved quickly, sometimes it takes time. Usually, in complex, labor-intensive, seemingly impossible tasks, insight comes. Something non-standard, unexpected, new. Along with insight, the previously established nature of action or thinking changes.
7. Rigidity
In psychology, “rigidity” is understood as a person’s unwillingness to act not according to plan, fear of unforeseen circumstances. Also referred to as “rigidity” is the unwillingness to give up habits and attitudes, from the old, in favor of the new, etc.
A rigid person is a hostage to stereotypes, ideas that are not created independently, but taken from reliable sources. They are specific, pedantic, and are irritated by uncertainty and carelessness. Rigid thinking is banal, cliched, uninteresting.
8. Conformism and non-conformism
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to stop and think.” wrote Mark Twain. Conformity is a key concept in social psychology. Expressed as a change in behavior under the real or imagined influence of others.
Why is this happening? Because people are afraid when they are not like everyone else. This is a way out of your comfort zone. This is the fear of not being liked, of looking stupid, of being out of the crowd.
Conformist – a person who changes his opinion, beliefs, attitudes, in favor of the society in which he is located.
Nonconformist is the opposite concept to the previous one, that is, a person who defends an opinion that differs from the majority.
9. Catharsis
From ancient Greek, the word “katharsis” means “purification,” most often from feelings of guilt. A process of long experience, excitement, which at the peak of development turns into liberation, something maximally positive. It is common for a person to worry for various reasons, from the thought of an iron not being turned off to the loss of loved one. Here we can talk about everyday catharsis. There is a problem that reaches its peak, a person suffers, but he cannot suffer forever. The problem begins to go away, the anger goes away (for some), the moment of forgiveness or awareness comes.
Losers are never late
but they always arrive at the wrong time.
What is punctuality nowadays? What does each of us mean by this word? Punctuality is always an accurate calculation of time. A punctual person is a person who is very careful in doing something and strictly carries out instructions. This is the definition I. Ozhegov gave to this word in his dictionary. In our country, punctuality is inextricably linked with time, or rather, with being late. It happens that even a responsible and competent person can never get to a meeting on time. Our lateness causes tons of indignation and reproaches from our superiors. Systematic tardiness can even lead to reprimands, which, of course, is completely lacking for us to be completely happy. What to do with constant delays, where are the sources of our mistakes and how to deal with all this?
Make punctuality your work style. The main, but not the last, of course, quality of a modern business person is his punctuality. She orients us towards success. We are taught to come anywhere else from school on time. Late for class? Please be reprimanded. Late for test mathematics? You can go for a walk and come to the retake with your parents. Can this example be transferred to our lives? Only instead of an angry teacher there is a tough boss. To some extent - yes. And what tricks do our companies go to so that we arrive on time. Factories have checkpoints that record the minute of arrival; in ordinary small enterprises, planning meetings on Mondays are sacred, and being late for them is tantamount to the end of the world. The director's sonorous voice cuts the air like a sword cuts a silk scarf. Creative companies solved this problem for themselves in the following way: after suffering through regular delays and disorganization (especially when the team is young), everyone agrees to pay one unit of money. We check our watches: for every minute of delay - hryvnia (two, three, five, etc.). By the end of the month, a decent amount has accumulated, with which you can pay off part of the overdue amount or go to a pizzeria together, which is naturally more pleasant.
Punctuality and culture
Culture of relationships in the business world. When hiring, the employer already looks at whether the person arrives on time and what he says. We increasingly use the word “punctuality” in our resumes. I will say for sure that the level of your punctuality depends only on you, you make your success. We ourselves divide things into “very important”, “important” and “will wait a week”. And depending on this we prepare for them. Have you ever been late for a meeting on which your future depended? Answer: unlikely. And if this happened in your life, then...
Develop a sense of “time”
Time is a space under our control. Keep track of time. This is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. Where did I waste my time? Try to arrive a little earlier. You are not late for the train or plane. You know - they won't wait for you. It won’t even be five minutes, so we rush, take a taxi and arrive on time. Let's call this all the “train effect”. Let him help you.
What, it's been so long already? Don't ask yourself these questions, and next time time your day. Are you running out of time? Take 5 minutes and schedule your day minute by minute, taking into account time for unplanned errands and tasks. Write everything down clearly, from breakfast to shower in the evening. For filling out documents - some time, for a meeting with a client - some time, for a vow - no more than an hour, etc.
Bad habits
A person is made up of habits. How much time do you spend in the smoking room, communicating with classmates and chatting on the phone? Cut everything in half. And twice as much you will do, twice as much success. These little things distract us. Yes, the temptation to look at new photos from your friend’s wedding is great. But this can also be done during your lunch break. When you get distracted, you don't focus on your work.
Punctuality and responsibility are two absolutely compatible things. And I’ll even say more - inextricably walking hand in hand with you while you strive to achieve results. Constantly being late is not only bad form. This is a sign of unprofessionalism. If you have ever tried to plan your day so as not to be late and you succeeded, all is not lost. Do not make an appointment if you know in advance that there may be traffic jams at this time. And if none of yours suits the client free time- set priorities. Who is more important? Well, act according to the circumstances.
What to say if you are still late again? Don't make excuses or humiliate yourself. Do not squeak in a thin and uncertain voice that you overslept or there was an accident on the road (you got on the wrong minibus, returned to turn off the iron). The more pitifully you change, the more hostility towards you. It’s better to clearly apologize and say: “Nothing depended on me. This won't happen again." It doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it.
There are people who are extremely punctual and late. What I mean is that sometimes being late is done “on purpose.” To make an impression, work for success. A peculiar maneuver through which a person will be remembered. You have the opportunity to do so - it's your business.
And remember: punctuality is the art of guessing how late your partner will be.
Elena Dodukh
Based on materials from TopWork
